It’s a Sunday night and I’m swiping away on my phone like the world is going to run out of guys any minute now. It might be a regular occurrence to the end of a weekend, except I’ve had a shit “man week” and I’m frustrated as hell with the opposite sex. My reason? I’ve had three different men on three different occasions cancel date plans with me this week alone!
The problem doesn’t lie when you first swipe, it’s AFTER you swipe. Picture the scenario: you’ve matched with a sexy man who is totally your type; loves his mum, wants kids, is tall, financially stable and knows what he wants in life. You start talking, there is definitely chemistry in the air and sparks fly when he gets your number. He clearly fancies you and wants to go out next week. You arrange to meet on Thursday, Thursday comes… and he cancels and/ or stops talking! If you haven’t stopped talking already… After the abundance of excuses and apologies, you decide to rearrange, but the sparks die and you slowly stop speaking to each other. What on Earth happened?!?
I have several theories behind this. Firstly: there are a carousel of girls available on an array of different platforms on the edge of a man’s fingertips, designed to filter out exactly what you don’t want in a person in a few pictures and a couple of sentences.
Don’t like her stroking a tiger? swipe left! Wonky incisor? Next! 5″3? Nope!
Don’t get me wrong: I am as fussy as the next girl. I like my men over 6 foot with dark hair/shaved head and full lips; of course everyone has an “average type.” Also, what they have typed in their bio might sway me off of the standard deviation too.
Secondly: men aren’t willing to work for a girl or put in any effort… even if it guarentees sex! That’s right folks! The thought of having to put in the time and money in wooing a girl you hardly know and may or may not like loses its appeal after a few days, like a cat chasing a mouse. There is always a kind of pattern with the guys who I stop talking to after a cancelled date.
Let’s break it down a bit: Tinder talk – average talk before it turns to what’s app: 1 day. What’s app talk before date arrangements: 2 days. Date arrangements to no communication/cancelled date: 2 days. So on average it takes about 5 days for a guy to completely waste your time!
Thirdly, and I really really believe in this one: when you want something badly, no matter how much you act cool, you come across as needy. This doesn’t mean I abundantly messaged them asking to meet up or expressed how much I liked them. In fact, I would act completely blasé at times to their existence, waiting on them to call/ message me. However, I was honest with them from the start and told them I didn’t want a relationship (I’m moving abroad for a year – more on that later) and I didn’t play any games, I replied whenever I saw that they messaged and instantly accepted an offer for a date if I fancied them.
This comes back round to my first paragraph. I think men subconsciously know that I’m not having a lucky “man streak” at the moment, so in the way I come across, however aware I am of myself and my actions, I come across needy. On the inside I have become this frustrated, bitter girl who just wants one freaking date with the opposite sex, and I just need to chill the F out and what comes will come – and I truly believe that. 🙂